Patricia Ann Detmers – 10/17/1956 – 5/25/2013 R.I.P.


With deep sorrow I am writing to report the passing of your Grandmother, my Mother, Pati.  It’s been nearly a month and things haven’t gotten much easier.  I believe I’ve gone through most of the phases of loss and now I’m stuck here at sadness.  I think about all of the things she’ll miss and even worse her limited involvement in your life.

Your Grandmother was an extremely caring person with a great sense of humor.  She loved her grandchildren even more than her own children, in fact she had a tattoo on her foot of numerous flowers.  They represented the birth flowers of all fourteen of her grandchildren.  She was incredibly tough, reliable, and also independent.  She successfully raised three very different boys, that in and of itself is quite a feat.

Mom has been sick for many years, in fact the doctors originally thought we’d lose her much sooner than we actually did.  I believe this speaks to her toughness and eagerness to prove her critics wrong.  Mom always suffered from breathing issues.  As I grew she constantly dealt with issues caused by asthma and allergies.  Around the time I left for college she ran into an illness named ‘Aspergillus’.  The disease progressively weakened my Mother’s ability to breath.  She went through hundreds of treatments, spent a long time in hospitals (32 days on this last trip), and eventually passed.

Sometimes I just want to scream, often wondering why it had to happen to her, but I know it’s not going to bring her back.  She was a great woman and the world is a darker place without her.  I am very sorry that you didn’t grow to know her well, I wish I could have done something to change that.  Please just do me a favor and remember her as a beautiful, loving, strong, and funny woman that would have done anything for you, because that’s the truth.  Do her one favor and live every day as if it were your last, because as much as it sickens me to say, one of these days it will be.

  • Final Thoughts: I love you very much, Mom.


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